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HOW TO: Dig Out Your Car in 30sec or Less

Posted by Jer / February 3, 2008

20080203snowcar.jpg After the Gods of Snow so graciously dump a fresh pile of white stuff on our fair city, there's a lot of cleanup to be done. Especially after the Plow Devils get out and bury your car and other personal property with pounds and pounds of crusty, slushy ice-blocks. For those of you with a car, Midnight Poutine offers 4 quick tips on freeing it:

1. Pay $20 to that short kid up the street to dig out your car. Careful. The tall kids may offer cheaper prices, but you can't trust them.

Pro: Increases Youth Emplyment
Con: You need to have $20

2. Let the city do it for you. When the annoying loud siren truck comes along, just ignore it. The driver of said truck will eventually have to get out and shovel your car out, readying it for the two truck. It's at precisely this point that you make a mad dash for your car, after they have shovelled it out but before they have towed it away. Then drive around for 3 or 4 hours and come back to a freshly cleared street.

Pro: Maximizes efficiencies.
Con: Requires precise timing, speed. and a possible tolerance for finding your towed vehicle should things not go as planned..

3. Two words: Lasers

Pro: Uses technology to overcome nature
Con: Rhymes with tasers, generates excess heat.

4. Own a Bike. Obviously there is still some digging out to do, but you should be done in about 30 seconds.

Pro: It's the eco-friendly thing to do. Bikes are the new cars.
Con: You have to wear splash pants (and fasten your pantlegs around your ankles) for winter riding.

picture of snowed in abandoned car from steveyb in the midnight poutine flickr pool

Discussion

16 Comments

Olivier / February 4, 2008 at 12:42 am
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What do you have against tall kids?
Jer / February 4, 2008 at 09:51 am
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If you saw what the tall kids with shovels did up my street, you would feel the same way.
Sisi / February 4, 2008 at 10:16 pm
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But...you're a tall kid. Self-hating tall kid!
anne / February 5, 2008 at 03:55 pm
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two words: public transport!
Jordana / February 4, 2015 at 08:28 am
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Very interesting video and difenrfet as the doctor didnt do any packing but did cauterizing the wound. I loved the soundtrack to this video, its a hell of a lot better than elevator music or that acidrock/heavy metal serial killer music! Good job on the post!
grosfillex cantilever umbrella / January 9, 2016 at 09:42 pm
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for collecting and reporting their collected sales tax.
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golu dolls / February 21, 2019 at 12:59 am
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