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69 Inches of Filth

Posted by Sara / January 31, 2007

You have to kind of feel sorry for metal bands. As if it isn't hard enough for the average musician to come up with the right band name, these dudes have to conjure one that adheres to an elaborate, unwritten code. I can tell you what won't cut it: Death Cab for Cutie. Neutral Milk Hotel. Clap Your Hands and Say Yeah. Somehow, even band names with "wolf" in the title don't sound as metal as they should.

Worse yet, Judas Priest is already taken.

So, forgive last Sunday's lineup at Metropolis if the marquee looked a little silly: Cradle of Filth, 69 Eyes and Three Inches of Blood. But to be honest, the marquee (marquis?) was probably the least silly thing I saw all night.

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OmnipoTim vs. the Factistas

Posted by Sara / October 14, 2006

timsquish.jpgOur friend OmnipoTim has a unique gift. You might call it a superpower, except that if you did, he would get too excited to perform. He can speechify on ANY subject, and charm the pants off of any colleague, coworker or cab driver in his path - without Google! Go on, give him a try: email your random queries to me at and we'll put him to the test again.

Teetering on the Edge of Veracity: So, what is this little column all about? Just another teeny tiny little fish in the giant pond that is Midnight Poutine, really. I??m just a chatty Cathy who seems to be able to find common ground with just about anyone due to my vast knowledge of crap. Conversations witnessed: the subtle and nuanced differences between European and African soccer, the difference between a beef tenderloin and a Chateau Briand cut, or perhaps the difference between a fop and a flower (Scarlet Pimpernel=Fop, the Sun King=Flower?duh).

See, I thought I was ??jus' talkin,??? but apparently normal people don??t a) talk about that stuff or b) care to learn/remember that stuff or c) have any reason to think anyone would a) or b).

Screw them, the douchebags.

Here are the rules for the OmnipoTim question/answer period:

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Pop Montreal 2006

Pop Rocks: Royal Mountain Band, Starvin' Hungry

Posted by Sara / October 7, 2006

Pics by Sir Hill, Lord of the Commonwealth Fotogs

Let me tell you a little something about Heavy Metal Bus Driver. Heavy Metal Bus Driver had a city route in London, Ontario. For all I know, he still does. He wore one of those regular city bus driver uniforms - you know, dark blue slacks, light blue collared shirt with city bus logo. He wore this uniform with SNAKESKIN BOOTS. And a giant rawk belt buckle. And big ol' rawk sunglasses. And waist-length, bleached, permed hair.

In conclusion, he was my favorite person ever.

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Pop Montreal 2006

Pop Rocks: Three Inches of Blood, Illuminati

Posted by Sara / October 6, 2006

Dave took these wicked shots of Illuminati.

As a teenaged headbanger in small-town Southwestern Ontario, there were few words more repugnant to me than "pop." It smacked of NKOTB, Tiffany, the Metallica black album, and all of the vapid, trendy things my friends and I were against. Sure, we were a marginalized group of stoned, skittish, pasty nerds. But at least we were True.

The way Mike tells it, life in the even smaller enclave of New Hamburg was different. "Metalheads RULED that town!" he reminisces. They were the popular kids, the jocks and the bullies. Yes, it was a pop-free utopia of corn fields and refrigerated transport trucks.

I don't wear as much acid wash as I used to, but I've never really gotten over that knee-jerk reaction to the idea of pop. So I was relieved to discover the hardly-secret fact that Pop Montreal offers much more.

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Back to School Re-education

Posted by Sara / September 20, 2006

Sometimes it seems like activism takes a summer vacation from this city. That's not the case, of course - Radio Tadamon's excellent podcasts cover some of the local organizing around the attack on Lebanon, for example - but it certainly does get quiet around here between June and August. And while I cringe at the thought of the winter to come, I welcome the energy that the cooler season brings.

So whether you're an eager new student, or a seasoned lefty who needs a bit of a kick in the pants, get busy this week:

Concordia's Alternative Orientation (Sept. 18-26): Community garden tours, workshops, films, info tables and a "Karaoke Birthday Ball" on the 26th
RadGrad 2006 (Sept. 19-28): "A politicized introduction to grad student life at McGill" - workshops and panels on the intersections of academia and community organizing
PROTEST extraordinary and ordinary "rendition" to torture (Sept. 21, 8 a.m., CSIS, 715 Peel): "Against Canadian complicity in all kidnap and torture, whether illegal or 'legal'"
DIE-IN (Sept. 22, 5:30 p.m., Phillips Square): For Car-Free Day, a ketchup-soaked theatrical spectacle "to commemorate the death and the wounds caused by all kinds of motorized vehicles" - inspired by a similar demo in 1976 by Le Monde à Bicyclette

Wrestlers on a Plane!

Posted by Sara / September 18, 2006

Undertaker-and-Paul-Bearer.jpg There are few things that can redeem a day that features frantic sprints through O'Hare and four-hour weather delays. But here's one of them: sitting two seats away from Undertaker!

Okay, he was in first class and I was skulking behind him in coach, digging through my bag for my die-cast Kane keychain and sneaking glimpses of his entourage of Armani-suited goons. But it was very exciting nonetheless. At 6'10" and 305 pounds of tattooed muscle, he didn't so much appear large as make everyone around him seem comically small.

It was the antithesis to a humid and mundane week spent in San Antonio. Undertaker's pyrotechnics-heavy, costumed, brooding, hellfire-and-Texas performance is what sucked me back into the fabulously wrong world of professional wrestling years ago, and although I have since drifted away from Monday Night Raw, seeing him again reignited my giddiness over all of that Baudrillardian hyperreality. When I finally made it home at 4 a.m., my head was spinning with over-hyphenated hyperbole and the improbable logistics of various mile-high scenarios - handily, Undertaker already has my name tattooed on his neck.

You too have a chance to open a can of your favorite flavour of whoopass/smell what the Rock is cookin/insert what the kids are saying these days at the WWE Raw+Smackdown SuperShow in Montreal TONIGHT! And tomorrow get your ass to Ottawa for TRYOUTS! Hell yeah!
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