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City, Fashion

Super-Secret, Secret Pool

Posted by Nika / July 27, 2006

CLICK for covert footage

Last Thursday afternoon, your favourite sweaty correspondent received a cryptic email (from a top-secret source) stating the shady whereabouts of a “crazy mountain pool”. It seems that this pool conforms to the definition of an Awesome Pool: loads of greenery, minimal concrete, minimal children, minimal chlorine content and loads of hot bodz. Ouch.

Being single and partial to frolicking with people of the good-looking, half-nekkid variety, I knew this was the scoop I was waiting for. On top of that it had been a bajillion degrees outside and wasn’t getting any cooler. Duty was obviously calling and as a reporter committed to reporting the truth, there wasn’t a better reason to take Friday off from my dayjob to investigate this rumour further. Within minutes I was on the horn with my trusty unemployed videograper and we made plans for the next day. Super-secret secret pool, here we come.

OK maybe the instructions were worthy of a Sunday Times crossword, but how hard can it be to freakin’ find a city pool? Hmmm, private eye I am not. Reading instructions is for nerds anyway.

The gent at the entrance was tight-lipped and because of his subdued strength, I assumed the he was a lifeguard. I was soon to be proven wrong, not only does he take our money at the door but he actually pushes ice cream, Yes, there is a massive freezer full of Drumsticks, popsicles and ice cream sandwiches in an unsuspecting little shack. This place kept getting curiouser and curiouser.

By 2pm, this place looked more a bar in the Mile End than a swimming pool. Hipsters drunk on splashing contests, their sinuses sore from playing “pick the looney off the bottom” game. Yeah, I said hipsters and tons of them. They look funny when they’re wet.

This place needs more in-depth analysis. I’m taking Monday off too. I’m thinking of going in under cover as a regular customer.



Evelyne / July 27, 2006 at 02:24 pm
"I'd never bring a date here." haha Also, the East-ish Plateau (read: franco hipsters not as anglophile as I) equivalent is at piscine Laurier apparemment. We gots to check it out, maybe we'll see David LaHaye. Wet.
Vicomte dB / August 2, 2006 at 04:55 pm
I hate you Nika for posting this ; it was already getting too crowded, but now, because of you, it will literally be unbearable. I'll be seeing you underwater...
Nika / August 2, 2006 at 05:01 pm
Take note, no directions were given nor were the surroundings described... the secret is safe.

As for seeing me underwater, I'm bringing my scuba mask Friday so I'LL be seeing YOU. mouhahahahaa.....
Nika / August 2, 2006 at 08:58 pm
oh... CFCF just did a report on the pool tonight on the 6 o'clock news. Fudge.
Rhiannon Brock / August 3, 2006 at 10:09 pm
[Carl]Well, it was a real nice secret organization. Once. [/Carl]

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