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Oneness Means Identifying the Source of Your Vitriol

Posted by Robyn / August 5, 2006

I'm a pretty centred person.

I've heard people say this and I think it sounds pretty good even though I don't really know what it means. So I guess I'm trying to be a centred person too and, y'know, live in The Now, so I can figure that out.

Lately I've been trying visualization. It's pretty neat and can involve picturing your body surrounded by WHITE FLAMES, which is cool. But this morning at 6:41, I pretty much just wanted a FLAMETHROWER. And unless visualizing your enemy's death by dull knives and a few sharp forks is a kind of spiritual progress, then I was pretty far away from centred.

So when I shouted "DIE!!" out my window at the multiple-horn-blaring tow truck that went by three times and then just SAT THERE clanging louder than a chamber choir of fire alarms, know that this death sentence seemed appropriate at the time.

What is this INSANE Montreal/Quebec phenomenon? Oh, I'm used to it by now, but it usually just happens in the wintertime, when all windows are closed and the tow trucks just whiz by anyway because most people know they have to pay attention to move-your-car signs at that time of year. Or it happens on designated street-cleaning days, which I'm guessing car parkers have committed to memory.

Whereas on a Saturday morning in August, people just don't care. Or are too drunk. Or on vacation. I don't know, but even though these big warning-warning-move-yr-car-before-6am signs went up around noon yesterday, there were still a lot of cars on the street last night. Hence the INSANE tow truck alarm bells and horns warning of, apparently, the apocalypse. You know, the one caused by cars, parked on the street.

Dudes, just tow these bastards' cars. They've been warned enough. Oh, and now not only do I hate you for just sitting there (with massive ear protection) waiting for these jerks to come running out of their apartments to move their cars (run, you bastards, run), but you have deprived the city of a few parking fines. And I KNOW you love parking fines. Which brings me back to how insane this phenomenon is.

But let's get to the root of this: who should I really want to kill with knives?

My anger can't fully be directed towards the tow truck driver and the cop accompanying him, though for their excessiveness, they deserve some wrath. But they were also just doing a job. And why? Because of some EVENT. But what? What could possibly close Mile-End St. Laurent on a Saturday morning?

oh, wait. SPORTS. In fact, GAY SPORTS. Well, geez, I can't hate that. Runners are all just running along and there are some people clapping and mildly whooping down the street. Running, and sometimes walking, doesn't really hurt anyone, does it? okay, maybe sometimes. But at least I'm not getting hurt (except tangentially in this case.)

So can I at least hate the organizers? Or the City Councillors or whatever? Because running a marathon doesn't take the entire width of St. Laurent. That's like four lanes. Did they ALL really have to be cleared? Okay, so both these groups get some of the hate.

But mostly, now that I've had some time to reflect, the fully visualized knives of intense dislike will fall hard and slow and dull on the people who did not move their cars before the signs told them to move their fucking cars. I know everyone makes mistakes and not everyone can read, but right now, in the full glory of The Moment Which is Now, you guys are dicks.


addendum: i have now taken a closer look at the signs and pretty much all of them are different and make varying levels of sense. so, if playing the blame game of the unenlightened, the city deserves some more fist shaking.



Matthew Hiscock / August 6, 2006 at 09:17 pm

Ban the roads, I say.
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