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La Ronde – The Adult Version

Posted by Kim / June 18, 2007

20070618_laronde8.jpgWhen I was fifteen, I got my first season pass to La Ronde. Every other weekend was spent in blinding heat, sprinting through the park, waiting in two-hour lines without complaint and spinning faster and faster on rides and never once having to throw up in the bushes. This past weekend, I returned, this time as an adult whose thirties are very well in sight. The La Ronde experience is definitely not what is used to be. Not even close.

20070618_laronde6.jpgLa Ronde was a grungier, dirtier, and slightly more dilapidated place when I was frequenting it over ten years ago. But In 2001, Six Flags bought the park, and the purchase did good things for the place. New rides started popping up all over and old rides were repaired (or just repainted). The park is larger now, which could be the reason why it seems less crowded and why the lines appear shorter. This is also perhaps the reason why the admission price has shot up, to a jaw-dropping $37. Fortunately, bringing a can of Coca-Cola gets you $5 off, and fortunately, the can doesn’t even have to be empty.

I knew the second I walked in that things had changed. Proof of this was the non-existent mad dash to the best rollercoaster. Instead, a saunter to the Minirail, the slow monorail-type ride that brings you from one area of the park to the next. Why run? Why even walk? The minirail will bring you in a relaxed and calm way! The old men with sun visors and canes who were also in line obviously agreed. The second realization that I am quickly growing up was my constant astonishment at and abomination of twelve and thirteen-year-olds dressed in little more than bathing suits.

Fortunately, this adult version of the La Ronde experience isn’t all that bad. We hopped off the minirail at the sight of the newest (2006) rollercoaster, The Goliath. It’s smooth, fast and simply a series of climbs and drops. Exhilarating, especially the first fall down, and comfortable, with nicely reclining seats. From there, I tested my weakening stomach on the teacup ride and the swings. Passed with flying colours and no flying vomit! This was a promising start to the day and a perfect way to preface our McDonald’s lunch. If my belly can handle spinning teacups, a couple cheeseburgers are child’s play.
20070618_laronde1.jpgThe rest of the day is a bit of a blur, partly due, I’m sure, to the $4 tequila shots downed throughout the afternoon. I have definitely grown more impatient, as the line up for The Vampire had me a bit cranky, and the line for Toboggan Nordique had me give up entirely. My old wooden favourite,The Monster, got me excited again, except for when I was stuck in a line because only one car was running on that track, while the other track had no more than 30 people waiting at a time. Still just as fast and rickety as ever; the bruises on my hips and the pain in my lower back are proof. Tornade’s restraints apparently makes men wonder if they will ever be able to have sex again, and Nintendo World is the land of lost children, so absorbed in their gaming that nothing can tear them away from the screen.
20070618_laronde11.jpgDefinitely not a blur was the Splash experience. Fairly new to La Ronde, Splash is a prettier and wetter version of the log ride. Having never been on it, we stood in line and rather than being excited at the notion of being soaked, I spent the time worrying about the contents of my purse and the potential discomfort of wet jeans. Having finally reached the very front of line, for the front seats on the boat, I look down and see about a foot of water on the bottom of the boat. Submerge my feet to mid-calf in grey water that bathed a million feet before me, in water rife with athlete’s foot bacteria and ice cream spoons and sock lint? It may have been the horror on my face that inspired the La Ronde employees to pull out the little Shop-Vac, sucking less than a litre of water out per suck. Three minutes turned to six minutes and that turned to ten minutes…fifteen minutes of watching them remove filth-laden water from the boat and put it back into the water that would shortly splash into my face, up my nose, in my mouth. We gave up our place in line at that point.
20070618_laronde9.jpgOf course, there were the great moments during the day as well. Flying down The Goliath’s tracks in the last run of the night, creaking in the ferris wheel’s gondola, mocking the gigantic, fire-breathing dragons in Dragon and devouring a bowl of Dippin’ Dots, cryogenically frozen ice cream (only one flavour per bowl though). And, of course, $4 tequila shots.

Discussion

6 Comments

Nathalie / August 1, 2007 at 01:45 pm
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Hey there!!! I was just windering if you could send me brochures or pictures of all the rides.

Thank You!!
Nathalie / August 1, 2007 at 01:45 pm
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Hey there!!! I was just wondering if you could send me brochures or pictures of all the rides.

Thank You!!
Nathalie / August 1, 2007 at 01:45 pm
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Hey there!!! I was just wondering if you could send me brochures or pictures of all the rides.

Thank You!!
Andrew / July 8, 2013 at 10:44 pm
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Im only a kid but i saw photos of the old rides they look more fun then the new ones
RebeccaBCram / June 7, 2016 at 07:57 am
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Lauri / November 29, 2016 at 07:15 am
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