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Introducing Ask Hua Li - Midnight Poutine's sex column

Posted by Hua_Li / November 6, 2013

Hua LiMeet Hua Li. She's an indie hip-hop artist by night, vocal teacher by day, and 24/7 sassy badass. In her new column, Ask Hua Li, she will answer any and all of your sex questions. Write to her using the box at the bottom of this post and watch out for a new instalment every other Hump Day (Wednesday).

Ever since delightfully jumping on the opportunity to write a sex column for Midnight Poutine, I've been worried about my credibility as a sex columnist. What are the qualifying criteria? Unlike Dr. Ruth, I'm not a doctor, and I'm also lacking some charm and a penis if I'm to go head to head with Dan Savage. My best friend suggested recently that maybe I ought to post a list of all of my past lovers - let the people judge for themselves if my advice ought to be trusted. Though in some ways appealing, that option does break a couple of my own cardinal rules: be private and respect the privacy of others.

There is, too, the option of complete braggadocio. I could write in detail about how, in the past three weeks, I've caused a lover to pass out after orgasm, found my way into an overnight hotel room tryst and practically destroyed a Polish grandmother's bedroom in a small cottage when the bed was really just too uncomfortably loud for enjoyable sex - but hey, sometimes a girl has a good month, and I'm not sure any of this means I'm more adept at navigating the slippery deck of sexuality than any one else.

Maybe this - The hotel tryst lover was constantly taken aback by just how nonplussed I seemed by pretty much everything, and it was only at the Polish grandmother's cottage that I realized that maybe not all friend groups speak as openly and brazenly about sexuality as mine does. I would guess, also, that most friend groups don't have such a hands-on approach to each other's sex lives as we do in #BenettonMob. Sex is something I never seem to get away from (not that I'm trying); I told a mob cohort recently that I felt that my entire creative process had begun to revolve around the type of sex I was having. I find sexuality fascinating, and I think because of this curiosity, I've become pretty open-minded about this stuff, pretty into forming ideas about the ethics of sex and pretty down to crack some books to answer any burning questions you might have.

All that being said, I'm hoping to bring a uniquely MTL, artist, freak-fam perspective to sex in the digital age. I'll be taking your questions to real sexual health pros, and will be tapping into the well of real-life sexual know-how that is #BenettonMob. Hopefully, this column will turn into a place where we can talk about making sex fun and safe for everyone. Whether you self-identify as queer, straight, trans or consider yourself mostly into dolphins but you'll settle for a human in water - whatever - know that I'll try to make you feel at home here the best I can. So, please, ask away! Send me some meaty questions that I can roll around my tongue before gently - ever so gently - sinking my teeth into.

With extraterrestrial love,

Hua Li 化力

Ask Hua Li a sex question in the box below. The form will retain nothing of your identity and any text you enter will not be displayed here. We're not the NSA, just some Montreal lowlifes who care. (NSA, if you're listening, that was just a joke.)

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