Sunday, January 26, 2020Light Snow -5°C

Montreal: City of Ass

Posted by Robyn / November 16, 2005

I figured it out, at long last:
Montreal is the city of ass.
Some towns are all leg,
some stick to the rack,
but when it comes to M.T.L.
turn 'round and show us your back.

That's a little poem I found (in my head) while dedicating some important thinking time to why women in Montreal have a certain fashion sense. For instance: You know those long tight t-shirts everyone (female) was wearing about a year ago? Montreal women were wearing those for years and years before they became a trend and they're still wearing them. They will never stop.

And the tight-pants-under-short-skirt phenomenon? (not to be confused with the loose-pants-under-flowy-hippie-skirt treeplanter-night-on-the-town staple): Forever Montreal. (oh, even I've gone in for this one.) You'd think it's about covering the ass region, but it's not - it's about accentuating the curves, all in the name of shakin' what you've got.

And, hell, nothing but further proof in the proliferation of short skirts and high heels, regardless of season. Who in their right mind wears high-heeled boots in the snow? Please, this is not about the "mind." But short bomber jackets in -20 degree weather? Plus mini-skirt? I don't care how much down is in that jacket or how thermal your tights are, you have entered the land of frozen vulva and the only way back is a sauna and fur underwear.* All things point to ass, is what I'm saying. Oh, legs come into it, waist comes into it, etc., etc., but only tangentially, only because they're connected to la fesse focal point. And that's fine, asses are great! But (hehe) I'm curious about the "logic" behind (hehe) it. It's inane, but how did this happen? That's all.

What I do know is that it affords ample (yes) opportunity for my favourite cheesy line ever: "Baby, I hate to see you go, but I love to watch you leave." Yeah, I've totally fallen for that one.

*okay, so I was going to provide a link for that but, f-, my innocent eyes!! Fur+underwear =... The internet really skews a person's perspective on the world. Now I think half the population is on a search for real-fur tails to attach to their g-strings and furry fantasies. And, due to "research" for a previous MP article, it seems the other half just wants to wear diapers, be coddled and then rightly sexed. And this is merely from looking at google results - there are many many things I do not need to see and simply lack the power to click (I am not the target audience, I am not the target audience...). aaagh. I thought the internet was the way forward! How I forget the two-steps-back rule...

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