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Lonely Hearts Club Video: All about Dick

Posted by Matt / March 31, 2006

serpico.jpgOr, All Right, John, Calm Down. John, Please, Just Calm Down!

All right, so imagine this: there I am, sitting in my quaint little home, leafing through some urbane periodical, like, I don’t know, Jazz Appreciators Bi-Monthly, feeling safe and secure from the demands of the outside world, when all of a sudden my phone rings, and it's the editor of this blog site completely frantic because he doesn't have his video write up for this week. And when I say frantic I mean frantic, like hyperventilating, screaming, black outs, hair loss. The works!

"It’s [Drew]!" he says, "[He] just (sob) took off to Paris (twinkle-twinkle of hair follicles separating from scalp) and we don’t have a video write up (the unmistakable hiss of pants being wettened) Can You Help?"

So I respond, all cool and collected: "J.M. (which are in fact this editor's real-life initials) no sweat. But you better be able to type fast, because when I get started I don’t like taking breaks."

And then I just go into like this free association mode, where the best movies ever made are just pouring forth.

"Okay, first off, how does Serpico sound? A pre-screaming meanie Al Pacino as one of the coolest cops on the force, who won’t take no bribes from no one. If for no other reason, rent it for his wardrobe, which should act as a primer for any self-respecting hipster. The director of that one is Sidney Lumet, who also directed Network, a Paddy Chayefsky penned satire about television that just goes to show you people hated that infernal box long before Adbusters reared its ugly head. Keep your eyes open for a character named The Great Ahmed Khan, he’s a laugh riot!

"Okay, we’re moving here, we’re moving. Next up, how about the flip side of media corruption. Let’s see what the media can do when they’re the good guys, like All The President's Men, which tells the story of how The Washington Post broke the Watergate scandal. Granted, pretty much everyone and their dog Checkers has seen that one, but I only said that so that I could recommend this: Dick, possibly the best Watergate spoof ever made. It’s got a young Kirsten Dunst and Michelle Williams playing two girls who get embroiled in the Whitehouse’s dirty doings, but if for no other reason (and believe me, it really is great) check it out for Woodward and Bernstein, played respectively by Will Ferrell and Bruce McCullough.

"I would recommend watching All The President’s Men first. That way, once you’re all depressed because the dreamy idealism of the 60’s finally gave way to the harsh realities of the 70’s, ruining once and for all America’s faith in the office of the President, you can watch a fun movie called Dick.”

So, anyways, if you can imagine that, that’s kind of what it was like when the editor of this Blog site called me.

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