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Food

Sunday Night Dinner. For Dirtbags.

Posted by Robyn / May 7, 2006

aka Sunday Night Poutine, A Recipe for Love/Disaster

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Wow, what a nice day. Blue skies and sunshine. Still a bit brisk out though. It made me want something warm for dinner, like roast chicken and potatoes. You know, proper Sunday roast, all done up.

But that seemed like a lot of work.

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I am just one person. And though I know how to cook a chicken and have actually done such a thing a few times, tonight I'm feeling dirtbag-ish. Cooking a chicken is very, y'know, family-oriented, capable, a dent in my valuable catching-up-on-DLed-tv-shows time.

Because an important thing about Sundays is LAZINESS. Dudes, I may have cleaned the bathroom and gone for a bike ride today, but I also slept in until 11, read some weekly horoscopes online (I am going to do things! I have to remain positive! etc! blargh!), and watched the new episode of Dr. Who, plus the Dr. Who Confidential thing. By the time I post this, I will be getting ready to watch a movie. In this sense, I'm a traditionalist.

Yet I can't help but want to twist traditions ever so slightly. Hence, my AMAZING DINNER. You too can enjoy the deliciousness and satisfy your cravings in the comfort of your own home. Here's how!

HOMEMADE POUTINE FOR ONE HUNGRY PERSON

2 small white potatoes
1 tbsp (?) canola/olive oil
salt, pepper, chili powder (optional but highly recommended)
1 package St. Hubert (or other brand) Fakeass Powdered Poutine Gravy (hey, it's even vegetarian! I am not vegetarian. But I will eat it anyway. P.S. it is msg-tarian!)
1/2 tbsp of red wine (optional but DAMN)
2oz (?) (or whatever) cheese curds (and only cheese curds, nothing else will do.), broken up into smaller pieces
ketchup (so this whole mess really does look entirely like something you SHOULD NOT EVER EAT EVER.)

- Cut up those potatoes into fry-like shapes, put them in a bowl. Pour some oil over that, add some salt, some pepper, some chili powder, mix it up. Spread the potatoes out on a cookie sheet (you know, the blackened cookie sheet already ruined by former roommates, the one for oily stuff, not cookie stuff.) Put that in a 400 degree oven for 30 minutes, flipping/stirring the fries around every 10 minutes so they don't stick or burn.

- Gravy: Don't make this until fries are almost finished - its warmth is important. To everything. You don't need all the gravy in the package (or do you??), so just put about 2 tbsp in a small pot, turn heat up to medium, and slowly add three-quarters of a cup of water and the red wine, whisking (with fork or, if fancy, like me, a fancy person, an actual whisk) while it heats up and turns into an exciting gelatinous brown substance. ooh! you totally want to eat this!

- Get a big bowl out. If you don't have one, go buy one. Because poutine is meant to be eaten out of big bowls. Plus, the big bowl is key to being a single person who does not make Sunday Roast dinners yet but instead makes Amazing One-Dish Meals Suitable for Lesser Royalty. Right? RIGHT. Put bowl on level counter top.

- Now take your hot frites out of the oven and transfer about half to the bowl. Put some cheese curds on top. Pour some gravy over. Add rest of fries. Add rest of cheese. Add rest of gravy. TOWER OF POUTINE POWER.

- Add ketchup to a corner of the bowl, if a bowl were to have corners. You may stir in later, no one will know, no one will tell.

- Sit down somewhere comfortable, ready yourself. Eat that awesome Sunday dinner of deliciousness and possibly of pain (optional). Add a side salad for less pain. Add some after-dinner chocolate for more pleasure. The rest is out of my hands. Do what you need to do. I believe hockey is on. (I am writing an MP article about my dinner. Then, as already said, watching movie. Maybe going for walk. (hahahaha. No, but that might be necessary to health.) OH SUNDAY.

Discussion

12 Comments

J Mac / May 8, 2006 at 02:41 pm
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Another option, and one that involves less cutting, is the use of McCain tasti taters as the potato base. You should consider this, perhaps. I will vouch for the quality of the end result.
rrrobyn / May 8, 2006 at 04:31 pm
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ah, yes, for the true connaisseur of laziness, frozen fries will work, especially if they have a mildly amusing name. I lost my taste for frozen fries a couple years ago, around the same time I lost my taste for mayonnaise. It's kind of distressing, but I'm making do.
Al / May 9, 2006 at 02:08 pm
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to take the laziness to the extreme, St Hubert poutince sauce (and many others) can be had pre-made in a can. just open the can and heat the sauce in the microwave. transfer it to a microwave-safe dish first! (i recommend a measuring cup - makes for easy and even pouring over the fries and curds)
john / May 9, 2006 at 04:43 pm
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i have noticed that the word "dirtbag" is very MTL.
OJ / May 11, 2006 at 10:11 am
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Ketchup? Gross. You had me until that - even if it is only in the corner.

Might I suggest replacing fries with mashed potatoes. Seriously, it takes poutine to a whole new level.
Samuel Schiller / June 21, 2007 at 12:08 pm
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