Food
Coffee Therapy #1
Welcome to the first segment of Coffee Therapy, a tireless (if not downright jumpy) search for the Best Coffee in Montreal. Your help is requested.
Current Champion: La Vieille Europe. Perfect. Coffee.
Their coffee is fresh, almost-chocolatey, and true-to-scent. Not only that, but it has a perfect price/size/buzz ratio, (99 cents/8 oz./instant leg jiggle), ideal temperature, (nary a scald), and incredibly friendly service. It's perfect.
But if I'm wrong, you've got to tell me. Truth, after all, is what therapy is all about.
Let me explain.
As a kid, your first sip of coffee tells you all you need to know about growing up. Years you walked past the coffee grinder at the grocery store, your sensitive little-kid olfactory glands buzzing. And nobody let you have a sip. The best smell in the grocery store and they tried to buy you off with Ovaltine, didn't they? Cheap, chalky, chocolate Ovaltine.
Which turned out to be so much better than coffee. What was coffee? Heartbreak, in a plastic cup.
Coffee, you see, is the root of the ongoing cycle of disillusionment and cynicism that even now informs your lifetime of failed relationships and misplaced hope. You know why? Because coffee is the Bette Davis of morning beverages. Because even the sweetest bean, having been ground up, boiled down, and tossed out (BY AN UNGRATEFUL PUBLIC), leaves behind nothing but the bitter memory of the way things could have been.
Except for at La Vieille Europe, which has coffee that MENDS YOUR BROKEN DREAMS. Teaches birds how to sing again. Gives the world a hug. That's just what it does.
If there's better fresh-brewed coffee in Montreal, the world needs to know. Coffee will be tasted black, with a hint of milk, no sugar, since that just happens to be how I like it. Your suggestions and commentary will be taken with active listening and a niggling Messiah complex. New challengers will be discussed each Tuesday. If your favorite coffee provider tops the leading contender, you win! You win the scant love and appreciation this cold world never even bothered to bestow.
There's no need for another soul-crushing fling at Tim Horton's. Get help. Talk to me.
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We gots to check out Little Italy maaaan, it's where the good stuff's at maaaan.
To be perfectly honest, though, the only question that really concerns ME is why Quebec can't import a decent bottle of tequila.
Speaking of which, if you're headed down to NYC anytime soon, stop by the new Trader Joe's and pick up a can of their Kona coffee. I've never had it, so I can't necessarily vouch for the quality, but their prices will make you weep like a teenage bride at a shotgun wedding.
I'm personally a wuss, and therefore enjoy the Almond Tequila that my GF bought in Mexoco and can also be found in California (although a different brand).
And Caribou is not a fair trade.
Will check it out. Thank you.
And no, I'm not pushing Ontario propaganda. I'm Scotish, so A) I know fuck all about coffee and B) I'm very cheap.
--Purist, con leche