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Coffee Therapy #1

Posted by Christy / August 22, 2006

Europe.jpgWelcome to the first segment of Coffee Therapy, a tireless (if not downright jumpy) search for the Best Coffee in Montreal. Your help is requested.

Current Champion: La Vieille Europe. Perfect. Coffee.

Their coffee is fresh, almost-chocolatey, and true-to-scent. Not only that, but it has a perfect price/size/buzz ratio, (99 cents/8 oz./instant leg jiggle), ideal temperature, (nary a scald), and incredibly friendly service. It's perfect.

But if I'm wrong, you've got to tell me. Truth, after all, is what therapy is all about.

Let me explain.

As a kid, your first sip of coffee tells you all you need to know about growing up. Years you walked past the coffee grinder at the grocery store, your sensitive little-kid olfactory glands buzzing. And nobody let you have a sip. The best smell in the grocery store and they tried to buy you off with Ovaltine, didn't they? Cheap, chalky, chocolate Ovaltine.

Which turned out to be so much better than coffee. What was coffee? Heartbreak, in a plastic cup.

Coffee, you see, is the root of the ongoing cycle of disillusionment and cynicism that even now informs your lifetime of failed relationships and misplaced hope. You know why? Because coffee is the Bette Davis of morning beverages. Because even the sweetest bean, having been ground up, boiled down, and tossed out (BY AN UNGRATEFUL PUBLIC), leaves behind nothing but the bitter memory of the way things could have been.

Except for at La Vieille Europe, which has coffee that MENDS YOUR BROKEN DREAMS. Teaches birds how to sing again. Gives the world a hug. That's just what it does.

If there's better fresh-brewed coffee in Montreal, the world needs to know. Coffee will be tasted black, with a hint of milk, no sugar, since that just happens to be how I like it. Your suggestions and commentary will be taken with active listening and a niggling Messiah complex. New challengers will be discussed each Tuesday. If your favorite coffee provider tops the leading contender, you win! You win the scant love and appreciation this cold world never even bothered to bestow.

There's no need for another soul-crushing fling at Tim Horton's. Get help. Talk to me.



Evelyne / August 22, 2006 at 03:14 pm
GAHAHAH awesome Tim's link.

We gots to check out Little Italy maaaan, it's where the good stuff's at maaaan.
christy / August 22, 2006 at 03:25 pm
Alright. You and me. Together. Showdown. Jitter-style.
Dave / August 23, 2006 at 09:52 am
Why is it impossible to find Kona coffee here? Is it not exported to Quebec or something?
christy / August 23, 2006 at 01:05 pm
I wasn't able to locate any leads for fresh brewed Kona online, but Vieille Europe sells Kona beans for a little over $53 a kilo. Pricey, but still a hell of a lot cheaper than speed. Of course, Vieille is a speciality importer shop, so that may go a little ways to explaining the apparent dearth elsewhere. I'll make a point of asking for it in upcoming coffee scouting excursions.

To be perfectly honest, though, the only question that really concerns ME is why Quebec can't import a decent bottle of tequila.
Dave / August 23, 2006 at 01:14 pm
A fair point about Tequila. They pretend to carry several different brands, but they all end up being made by the same company!
christy / August 23, 2006 at 01:23 pm
What, you mean the Sauza and the Sauza? Or have you found something more exciting? I went by the big specialty shop on St-Catherine a while back... not a damn thing there, either--not that I'd pay their prices anyway, being from California.

Speaking of which, if you're headed down to NYC anytime soon, stop by the new Trader Joe's and pick up a can of their Kona coffee. I've never had it, so I can't necessarily vouch for the quality, but their prices will make you weep like a teenage bride at a shotgun wedding.
Dave / August 23, 2006 at 01:38 pm
You can usually find 3 or 4 different Tequila's in random SAQ, however all of them are actually made by Jose Cuevro. Just different versions of the same fake crap.

I'm personally a wuss, and therefore enjoy the Almond Tequila that my GF bought in Mexoco and can also be found in California (although a different brand).
christy / August 23, 2006 at 01:59 pm
That is exactly the problem: I've yet to find a tequila in Quebec that's 100% agave. It ought to be criminal.

And Caribou is not a fair trade.
rishi / August 23, 2006 at 04:01 pm
i humbly nominate Cafe Olympico for best coffee in Montreal. perhaps that's obvious, but, like, whatever.
christy / August 23, 2006 at 04:16 pm
Well, it's the only one on the Mirror's "Best Of" list that isn't a chain... which made it look like either a really great recommendation or a really poor one. But we're not snobs here. What the heck do I know about coffee? Nuthin'. I just want a cup that tastes good.

Will check it out. Thank you.
Dave / August 23, 2006 at 04:41 pm
I'd like toput forward Tim Horton's Double Double. I know that on it's own, Tim's coffee can be a bit burnt dasting like Starbucks, but add a lot of cream and sugar and it's in my top 5.

And no, I'm not pushing Ontario propaganda. I'm Scotish, so A) I know fuck all about coffee and B) I'm very cheap.

christy / August 23, 2006 at 04:55 pm
Sugar? C'mon now... one drug at a time, plz.

--Purist, con leche
Hannah / August 24, 2006 at 10:47 am
If you're really looking to get revved up by a coffee, you've got to drop this drip stuff. Head west, young fries, to NDG and sample some Lebanese coffee, cooked up thick and sweet over the stove. Azar. 5899 Sherbrooke O.
christy / August 24, 2006 at 10:54 am
Is it anything like Turkish Coffee? That shit's like a high colonic for the frontal lobe. But I maintain you can redeem any bean with enough sugar--and that's cheating.
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