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I am not making a list on the internet

Posted by Robyn / December 24, 2005

That's right. It may be days away from the end of 2005, which, let's admit it here, okay, was a tough year. Oh, maybe you thought you had a good time, maybe you got married, finished your novel, got devirginized, but think about it - 2005 was half suck, half great. Plus, the global level of suck always finds its way into our psyches: freakin' hurricanes, bombings on the tube, happy slapping, great people dying.

So, even if you didn't suffer a break-up or get in a car accident or say really embarrassing things that time you found that half-full mickey of rum in the cupboard, you know this year was as heavy as it was exhilarating. And that kind of severe split really muddled up the day-to-day: But yesterday was great! How can today be so hard? and on it went. Point being, I liked many things in 2005; however, I have changed my mind about some of these things many times over. Below is simply a random cataloguing, clearly not a list, of some things I got into at some time in 2005.

Still okay with Lost, fairly hooked but not dying about it.
Excited about Dr. Who Christmas episode - new doctor!
DYING for next episode of Battlestar Galactic (Jan 6)
Arrested Development was canned, resurrected, canned again, now in some murky search for network/non-network foster parents. Foster parents are sometimes assholes. This show makes me laugh so hard I have to press pause and cry a little.
Gilmore Girls was pretty good - got a few tears out of me, a few laughs, Rory could've sunk lower or at least her gross boyfriend could've been beaten up.
Which leads me to how The O.C.'s most recent season was less than stellar, with Ryan "growing up" and not getting into as many fights. Julie Cooper in the trailer park did, however, rock.
Coronation Street: more intense than you would think.

2046 - Long, pretty, half-sensical, boring like a blanket, a nice, warm, soft blanket your best friend made for you while she was, like, coming out of a depession or something. Yeah, this movie is a kind of low-intensity therapy, lulling you into that half-conscious state where you're able to dream and remember those dreams. A good wtf, well, okay, yeah, no, cool... quality to it.
A History of Violence - I love Cronenberg and I still loved him when I finished watching this. Violence, sex, hilarity, family love/hate, blood n' guts, weirdness.
The Squid and the Whale - Hands up if your parents are divorced. I see a lot of hands. Some of you have two up. That's rough. I liked this movie a lot. Make me watch it again if I ever decide that I'm going to go and do something like get married, okay.
War of the Worlds - Why not more aliens all the time? Why so much T.C. grimace-face? I do not care about him and his gross family. I care about awesome killer aliens.
Star Wars III - The "best" one of the three new ones. I guess it was "dark," as I've heard it described. And I guess I was entertained. It kind of defies review. And, obv, everyone saw it anyway.
Batman Begins - Here is where we can actually talk about "dark." Between this and ninja for hire, I totally want to go into training and be a superhero. (Don't. We. All.)
Me and You and Everyone We Know - I laughed really really really hard at the IM parts. And laughing really hard is good for your brain chemicals. So I liked it.
40-Year-Old Virgin - Heart-warming and pleasantly absurd. I've had conversations like certain ones in this movie. You probably have too. Make me watch it again if I ever decide that I'm going to go and do something like get married, okay.

All I read are library books and photocopied journal articles. And books people lend to me. None of which came out in 2005. As a "writer," I'm appalled by me. hahaha, no, I'm not. As a person overwhelmed by how much INFORMATION is in the world, I'm okay with this particular gaping wound in my so-called cultural life. As always, I plan on getting better.

I remember really hating Hollaback Girl, then singing it every day for two weeks, then hating it again, and now here I am strutting around to it and "Hung Up" and "Since U Been Gone," not to mention Ciara's "Oh" and Lady Sovereign's "Random" and R. Kelly's closet stories and Annie and Missy and Kayne. POP MUSIC, it is ALIVE in PLASTIC-HUMAN HYBRID FORM. I have few complaints; it is what it is and it's fabulously POP.

What I spent much of the year listening to is, in fact, a long list of things. So, here are some random choices from media player: The Mountain Goats "The Sunset Tree", The New Pornographers "Twin Cinema", Lightning Bolt, The Silver Jews, Final Fantasy, Four Tet, The Unireverse, Cadence Weapon, Lady Sovereign, Low, Magnolia Electric Co., Destroyer (too exciting to wait for 2006, but it'll be on that list too). There are about five thousand bands that I would like to name here but a) I can't type forever even if there's enough internet out there to fill, and b) I don't know all these five thousand bands and there are people out there who actually do, e.g., Stylus (vs.) Pitchfork, and all kinds of better/worse others, all full of long carefully tended Lists and more Lists. You know.

Wedge heels - This is both good and bad. Really comfortable, but often really bluddy ugly. The wedge must be treated right in its design. It goes from high-class to high-class whore REALLY FAST.
Knee-length full skirts - I look like a 12-year-old on summer vacation in these, so screw you, knee-length full skirts. Unless you are a woman who can put one on and look like a 40s movie star. In which case, never stop.
The Jacket, cont. - aaagh. Cute when it's cut right. Not cute when stores like 0ld Navy make a million lime-green searsucker blazers for, apparently, 4-foot-tall breastless female linebackers. And everyone wears them anyway.
Bangs - Instant Cuteness. Classic.

The Internet - I hear it's still pretty okay. Also: Now even more full of p0rn! And things you really didn't need to know! And assholes! Literal and figurative!
Finding things on the Internet - Amazingly, it's easier in 2005. More specific ways to search, better results, often less p0rn. You are probably on there somewhere by now, btw.
Not caring about how much you care - Fairly self-explanatory. Totally caring about a cause, even if it's yourself, but being blase about it, e.g., "Yeah, I was in Haiti, did some work there, slept 2 hours a night for three weeks, y'know, 's cool now. Running a marathon for heart cancer next week." (cracks open third beer).
Money - People fucking love this. You'd think it'd get old, but they just revamp it every few years and people are, like, whoa! I thought it was good before, but now, oh, it's just amazing! I can't get enough of it! So. Hott.
The phrase "Shit has gone straight toxic" - It's a good one.

Ourselves - Always in, easy access, world that caters to self-indulgence makes this one, paradoxically, socially acceptable.
Other People - Some over-rated, some way under-rated, some awesome, some in need of help, all subject to personal issues and as many levels of judgment as there are cells in our bodies. Ourselves + Other People - Freaking out about it = Better. Not sure how this went in 2005.

Red pandas are really cute. I still like my cats, probably even more than I used to. My brother's dog has that thing old dogs get where their legs go one way and their body goes the other. It's sad, but b/c there's no pain, it's also kind of funny. Apparently it comes and goes. And such is life. There's this site of cute animals. I learned about elephants from Barbara Gowdy even if she's a bit breathy/flakey about it. I also learned that people who like chinchillas REALLY LIKE chinchillas, whoa.

hahaha. You know when you're not even anywhere near the target market for new cars? And new cars might as well be freakin' rocket ships? So, I know there are new cars, and I've seen pictures in magazines of these cars, but I've also seen Virgin Airline's "space travel" website, Virgin Galactic. I am simulataneously distressed and having a spaz of elation.

And that brings me back to the whole wtf happened with 2005 issue. So distressed, yet so blown the fuck away by, y'know, THE WORLD (macro, micro, oh-o). BRING ON 2006 SO WE CAN ROCK IT LIKE A ... no, not that. 2006, YOU WILL BE MINE/OURS/IT.

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