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Food, Media

On Company Time #6: Fly the Sapphic Skies

Posted by MP / March 2, 2006

Someone’s gonna get fired – if you’re flying Delta Airlines this month, and are extremely bored, you might want to taka a quick look at the hideous rag placed in the seat pocket in front of you.

Ah yes, Delta Sky. You might wonder why anyone associated with this fine bastion of journalism might recommend a piece of shit like Delta Sky to anyone on a long flight. You might wonder why anyone who is suffering through the agony of flying Delta might want to compound the unpleasantness by opening up a magazine unfit to diaper the chronically incontinent with. But page 20 of the February edition is certainly gonna get someone fired this month. Maybe this particular layout guy was looking to quit – it certainly looks like it when you see a short, 50-word blurb plugging NamIts, a vocabulary-based game to occupy your hellion kids on long car trips. The cards have one word per card, with handy pictograms included.

Hilariously enough, two of the cards seem to create a rather intriguing turn of phrase – check it out:

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Reaction to this picture has been somewhat mixed – blogger Andy Carver got his internets in a twist over the whole thing, more upset over the use of the term “carpet muncher” than the actual suggestion that his kids the world over should get down and dirty with the nearest set of lady-parts that stroll into view:

“Perhaps this phrase isn't in everyone's vocabulary, but I associate it with a derogatory slur against lesbians and a misogynist insult against women in general. Was it merely a localized Florida insult I'd heard while growing up - and thus an innocent, unfortunate coincidence - or was this a more universally recognized slur, at least in American culture?”

We of the gay persuasion certainly appreciate that Mr, Carver would like to see us free of the bonds of harsh language, although the fine folks at queerty.com seem to have a slightly different mindset:

“…we don't see what the big deal is. With gays being so trendy in media these days, we think "carpet muncher" is already in most 7 year-old's vocabulary.”

My opinion is that if it isn’t already in most 7 year-old’s vocabulary, it sure as hell should be.

Those of you worried that your children might dive through the next set of meat curtains they might come across should voice your concerns through a torrent of hate email, at editorial@delta-sky.com . You may also want to inform the creators of a fine product such as NamIts that Delta Sky Magazine is using their product to corrupt The Nation’s Youth satisfying their munchies through cunnilingus, a snack cake far richer and moister than anything Betty Crocker could hope to manufacture. They may be reached at info@namits.com. I mean come on – their website (www.namits.com ) extolls the educational virtues of their product, while not once mentioning the veritably porn-u-copia contained within! Hell, Dr. Toy himself (yes, THE Dr. Toy) ranked NamIts as one of the Top 10 Educational Products for 2004, beating out such classroom mainstays as Dr. Wang’s Doggie Circumcision Kit, and SmegMoCo’s “Visible Colon”.

Buyer beware!

Discussion

10 Comments

Dave / March 2, 2006 at 10:37 am
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Unfortunately, it's looking more and more like more than one person will lose their job at Delta.

http://www.azcentral.com/arizonarepublic/business/articles/0302airlines02.html

This makes me wonder if this picture was someone's last hoorah, thinking that they may be looking for a new job by the end of summer anyway. No matter what the reason.....well played....very well played.
j mac / March 2, 2006 at 11:30 am
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This post rules.

I'm with queerty.com. I've never really considered "carpet muncher" to be a term offensive to a specific group. It's simply a semi-hilarious euphemism for cunnilingus from a culture that has developed scads semi-hilarious euphemisms for pretty much anything sex related.
Sara / March 2, 2006 at 01:51 pm
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For the record, we ladies prefer the term "beef curtain."
J Mac / March 2, 2006 at 02:01 pm
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Says you. I have it on good authority that "catcher's mitt" or "axe wound" are preferred.

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