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Save the Dolphins

Posted by Jer / December 15, 2006

Tucked away in the Montreal Gazette's World section is this little gem of a headline about an aquarium in northeast China: "Long arms save two dolphins". Sure, I should be reading about the new UN Secretary General, the latest gunfight in Gaza or other stories of international import. But the subheading draws me in even further: "World's Tallest Man. Mammals had swallowed plastic at aquarium."

Finally, someone has figured out how to use the power of Guinness World Record holders for good. (Full story from BBC news here)

Apparently, the dolphins had swallowed some plastic lying around their pool. When all the instruments of modern science failed to help veterinarians extract the plastic, aquarium officials called in the world's tallest man, Mongolian herdsman Bao Xishun, for help. At 7ft. 8in, Mr. Bao's arms reached where no tool could go, saving the chipper Flippers. The dolphins are currently recovering, from the plastic and, I assume, from the sensation of having 1.06 meters of arm in their gullets.

Hopefully Mr. Bao is available for other engagements...I was thinking of putting my xmas lights up today.

Other Guinness world record holders and potential good uses for them:

Narve Laeret - Most Concrete Blocks Broke with Hand in 1 minute (90)- Envrionmentally friendly demolition practices.

Kathryn Pounder and Rebecca MacEnri - The Most Ballet Leg Switches in 1 minute (71)- New source of green energy, superior and more cost-efficient than wind powered turbines.

Jackie Bibby - Most Live Rattlesnakes Held In The Mouth (10 snakes for 10 seconds)- I don't know what to use this guy for, but he should definitely have a lead role in the Snakes on a Plane sequel. Yo, there's snakes on this plane? Naw, snakes in my mouth.



Christy / December 15, 2006 at 10:47 am
Oh goddamnit... *erase erase erase*
Jer / December 15, 2006 at 01:08 pm
Oh snap. Did I snipe your main morning headline? Sorry...Maybe I should have just done a story on Snake Mouth.
Christy / December 15, 2006 at 02:32 pm
Dude, did you dig the 80 mice that escaped on board a plane flying over the Middle East? Broke an hour after I posted. DOUBLE DAMMIT.
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