Photo by Davduf
Montreal has become utterly boring in the wake of plummeting temperatures. Even our snow has to be fluffed to be thrilling. And all the ne'er-do-wells have taken it indoors where they continue to do what they've always done: not make U.S. headlines.

* A Montreal man has refused to grant a religious divorce to his wife, who he stabbed along with their baby daughter. He clearly doesn't understand that there'll be no shortage of stabbees in prison. Not to mention tattoo-style shotgun prison "weddings."

* Another Montrealer has been jailed for his racist, neo-Nazi website. Canadians apparently applaud the sheer futility of this act--and sure, why not? Meanwhile racist sites mushroom like fairy rings.

* Nobody cares about the state of Montreal's roads, apparently. Concerned about your shocks? Buy a mountain bike, ya' pansies.

* One the bright side, a Montreal animator has received an Oscar nod this year, although she claims the whole thing is a "fluke." Art majors' heads reel, everywhere.

And that, kids, is really... just about... IT. Do us a favor. Go make trouble.

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