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HumpDay Headlines - January 24, 2007

Posted by Cat / January 24, 2007

GrandBibliotheque.jpgBreaking news flash: Vomiting tops global list of most unpopular noises!

It doesn't bode well when the day's headlines could, each and every one of them, be characterized by a sound-bite that Canadians will henceforth be subjected to from the Robert Pickton trial. The sad and grizzly details of this murder trial will plague the ears and eyes, hearts and minds of all of us for some time to come.

When Pickton was asked if he had ever had sex with any of the girls in question, he replied "Not that I'm aware of". Equally evasive on similar questions is Israeli Prime Minister Moshe Katsav, who has been charged with offences including rape, obstruction of justice and fraud, and has asked for a leave of absence from the Presidency. "I do not remember faces," he says. Wait... who says?

Still in the "Shoulda kept yer pie-hole shut" Department, Segolene Royal, in yet another political gaff, is quickly backtracking on her comments made during a meeting with Andre Boisclair in which she seemingly endorsed Quebec sovereignty. She now states that "it is not up to France to dictate to either the Quebecois or the Canadians what they must do." Pickton puts it more simply as he yawns and asks, "What's that got to do with me?"

Yesterday's implementation of passport requirements for air travel between Canada and the US went fairly smoothly except, of course, for the thousands of Canadians who, due to a little-known provision in the Citizenship Act that applied between 1947 and 1977, do not qualify as Canadian citizens. For those expecting to collect a Canadian pension within a year or so, the news comes as a horrible shock. Equally upset are Aboriginal Canadians, who claim the new legislation should not apply to them as they have never formally recognized this border through their territory. As Pickton says, "What it means to me: Hogwash."

Finally, President Bush gave his most unconfident State of the Union address ever last night, as he faced a sea of Democratic disappointedness. Looking especially insecure during his discourse on recent decisions to send more troops and sink more money into the war in Iraq, Bush concluded his speech by saying, basically, "I'm just a pig man, that's all I got to say".

Just remember, folks: "People in glass houses..." Or libraries for that matter.

On a more easy-to-swallow note, Today's Food Section:
Punk Vegan Cupcake-deliciousness in the NY Times, French-Canadian research (natch) proves yet another benefit of red wine drinking, " endless banquet" offers us the perfect dish for a January evening, and Montreal restaurant Les Chevres, with its rich pasture of divine desserts, has sadly closed its gate.

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