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Tuesday News Is Working (Its Ass Off) For You

Posted by Robyn / January 23, 2007

MP Takes on the Slowest of the News Days!
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Okay, News, your ass is mine. And I am not a fan of your ass. So I'm going to put you on a treadmill with an incline of 10 (vertical!) and work off some of that junk in your trunk, namely the depresso- fleeting-ridiculous equivalent-to-trans-fats-and-glucose- syrup filler. Only the finest of stories get into my News. Even the finest stories about doughnuts, because good doughnuts are freakin' good.

Let's just be smart or make attempts to be smart about the news - conscious of it but not overwhelmed by how much of it is out there (so much...I mean, it's possible that I care, or do I?). A few high-quality stories at a time. As deemed by me.

So let's start with TV and Movies. Battlestar Galactica came back to us on Sunday night after a couple months away and did not disappoint. As did Rome, as did Heroes (Monday night, Global). And tonight on Global, Gilmore Girls comes back, but I am less excited about this as this season is pretty unexciting, sorry. Degrassi TNG, however, is some intense stuff this season. What was I doing in highschool?? There was drama, sure, but I pretty much cruised through without witnessing first-hand any murders, full-term pregnancies, coke addiction, internet stalking (there was no 'internet'), or hallway shootings (it was all about fists and name calling back in the day.) Degrassi, however, has been replaced on Tuesday nights for however long it takes American Idol to go through the motions of freaking us all out for, like, the 6th year in a row.

Oh, and a little thing called Oscar Nominations came out today. I love movies, but, eesh, 2006, whoo de hoo. Of course, you know where to find me on Sunday, February 25. Cannot. Resist. Lure. of. Celebrities. And movies.

Onto "news," if you're travelling to the USA, a land of people, things, food and entertainment of varying qualities and often massive quantities, be sure to bring your passport, as new regulations say you gotta. You know, there are many countries where you must have your passport on you at all times. But whatever, soon we will all be embedded with identity chips anyway! You know it's coming. Maybe it's good for us, like these chips for our eyes!! We will all be Bionic soon enough; accept the future. It will also be interesting to see how our vaginas evolve after 150 million years of existence.

And in Sports, I believe the Australian Open is going on. And something hockey-related, an all-star game, some other stuff you already know about if you are a hockey fan, amirite? Yes. And if you're a scuba diving enthusiast who is kinda totally nutz about your pets, fret no longer.

And finally, the weather today, brought to you by Environment Canada: Cloudy with sunny periods. High minus 6. Cloudy with 60 percent chance of flurries. Wind south 20 km/h becoming northwest 20 gusting to 40 overnight. Low minus 10. Can't really complain; flurries make people happy - so light a snowfall, so quaint and pretty.

By the way, here's a preview of tomorrow's local news: It is My Birthday!! Cele-brat-ion.

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