Friday's top story wants you to know that the San Francisco queer community is pretty sure not all Montréalais are gay. Thought you'd like to know.

And speaking of those with hot butts (budda ching!), Montreal is installing 180 ashtrays outside of Metro stations. As a result, littering is about to become a prioritized and ticketable offense in Montreal. Yes, Montreal, you've been a dirty girl, and now the cops are after you. You're just like Thelma and Louise! And I'd drive over a cliff with you any day.

Meanwhile, as the Shriner's threaten to leave us, the Vachibou has just arrived... and not everyone's keen about it. Half cow, half caribou, the sculpture gift from France representing the union of two great nations could become the mascot for Quebec City's 400th birthday, except, as some have sagely pointed out, it looks more like a damn moose. Meanwhile, Brad Pitt, Cate Blanchett, and other symbols of unbridled hotness, fail to enter Quebec in droves. Connection?

Oh, and since you asked, yes the U.S.A. has stranded an Iraqi citizen in Montreal, bringing home a new worldwide trend to abruptly deny entry to Iraqis holding older passports. All those in possession of Vachibous are asked to meet up at midnight. Storm the gates, Quebec style.