Though I'm pretty much a 4th-generation Canadian, much of my genetic make-up comes from a small island off the coast of another small island. I have been to the latter, but haven't yet been to the mythical green pastures of the former. When I do make it there, I expect nothing less than rolling hills, warm embraces, rollicking tunes, and a beer in my hand, often. For the time being, I will settle for what Montreal can provide in that regard.

Montreal, thank you for taking my heritage into account and being such a great provider. My own plans tonight include all these things, I mean, as long as you consider the view of the Mountain to cover the "rolling hills" part. So, the St. Patrick's Day in Montreal To Do List 2007:

The spring thaw is upon us! My recent strolls around town have become easier because of the lack of snow and ice, but unfortunately a new impediment has emerged to make walking on our city’s sidewalks a skillful task: canine feces. Piles and piles of feces. As is rite of passage for the changing of the winter season in Montreal, the spring thaw reveals an unsightly – and often foul smelling – residue of poop. Just don’t stop to think about it too much or you may find yourself with tainted memories of the drunken snow angel you happily produced on the walk in front of your apartment.

Anyhoo, on to today’s media bites from around town…

The planet’s indie music eyes are upon Austin, Texas this week as the South by Southwest (SXSW) music festival is underway. What does this have to do with Montreal? Well besides the numerous local bands performing, Midnight Poutine’s own John Macfarlane is blogging at the festival for the Gazette. His first of three features appears in last Saturday’s print edition.

I was on the orange line on Wednesday evening around 7pm. As the train pulled into the station (Lionel Groulx, perhaps), a woman who was getting off stomped towards the door. With a swift and aggressive action, she picked up the newspapers lying on the ground, snatching one from under one surprised man's foot. She walked off the train with her head held high and, as we pulled away, I saw her move towards the trash can. She seemed to be channeling mothers and fathers everywhere: "I'm sick of cleaning up after you!"

Montreal's been in the news for being a dirty city. Apparently the hype got to this woman, who took action. So, readers, have you witnessed any ground-level responses to litter?

Pigs are the new unifier. There's a new environmental kid in town and it's going to join the French and the English in the global battle against mega-pig farms. The Sierra Club has launched a Quebec chapter that will begin with four priorities: pig farms, climate change education, environmental awareness in Chinatown and a forestry campaign.

This is yesterday's news, but great anyway. Christopher DeWolf (UrbanPhoto) reports in the Gazette that Montreal's metro system will be moving into the modern age. Before long we'll be scanning cards to ride the rails.

The Arcade Fire's Neon Bible will be released on Thursday, and critics can't say enough good things about it.

So, like pretty much all of Montreal, if the density of the crowds was anything to go by, I went to the Montreal All-Nighter last night. Or Nuit Blanche, or Montreal en Lumière. Whatever it was called, I went to it, a lot of it. Way bigger and, yes, better (due to an obvious step up in organization/logistics) than last year's event (which was pretty fun anyway), the Hydro-Quebec-sponsored (yes, them, of the heat and electricity bill we all love) All-Nighter really did keep thousands of people out all night. Could it only happen in Montreal? Well, only in this particular, jovial yet chaotic way in Montreal.

You gotta love a town that for a one-night event manages to set up activities for miles, put out a full-colour program of events, appeal to all ages and creative inclinations, and yet doesn't fill the streets with cops "just looking out for your safety."

(The downside being that certain icy sidewalks on certain main arteries become serious casuality zones.) But I like this edge of chaos, this patrolling of self only if self needs to be patrolled; I don't need my freakin' hand held, I don't need a freakin' fun-filled panopticon. Love this town, never change.

The Globe and Mail gushes over Celebrity Accused Conrad Black over an intimate dinner in Toronto. The writer can't resist remarking on how suddenly handsome His Lordship is and how he's become a "babe magnet." Ew.

The Parti Québécois and the Quebec Liberals launched their first television ads. And guess who's missing from the PQ spots? Yep, André Boisclair

The director of a St. Hyacinthe hospital where 16 people died after getting C. difficile said he didn't know about the epidemic until after several people died. He told a coroner's inquest into the deaths that he assumed staff followed proper disinfection guidelines, but never checked into the matter himself. Moral of the story: Never get hospitalized.

The cold weather and lack of terrasses are apparently keeping smokers out of Montreal bars and at home hacking away on their couches. It's costing local businesses millions in lost revenues.

Margaret Atwood scores yet another Canadian literary honour. She will be the recipient of the $10,000 grand prize for lifetime achievement at the Blue Met literary festival, which begins April 25. Do you think she even cares anymore?

The Montreal film industry is breathing a collective sigh of relief as Brendan Fraser and Rachel Weisz bring the schlock sequel The Mummy 3 to town. This on the heels of news Brad and Angelina are coming to visit for a conference next fall. Hollywood North indeed.

And, as MP reported yesterday, Montreal's Museum of Fine Arts is the only North American stop for a major exhibit of Walt Disney's work. No word if any of these quality films from the Disney Vault will be showcased, too.

Photo from heicktopiertz from the MP Flickr Pool.

Last day of February - woohoo!

They're calling in the big guns. News of the ejection of 11-year-old Asmahan (Azzy) Mansour from the soccer field last week over her choice of headwear has traveled around the globe (Okay, not quite). On Saturday, in Manchester, England, the "supreme authority of world soccer will tackle the question of hijabs on the playing field." I remember having to remove all jewelery before playing field sports, but I still have to wonder whether a hijab can really strangle someone. Also, it's not like women don't play sports in Muslim countries. Iran's Shihrin Nasri played in hijab and long pants in the West Asian Football Federation Women's Championship in 2005.

The NHL, of course, has not yet run up against the hijab problem. There was however a trading deadline yesterday. But I can't really offer any insight on that, so I encourage you to read on.

Remember being shuffled off to computer camp? Remember having to watch other geeky campers demonstrate the results of their programming wizardry? While all the while you’re kicking back with your geeky friends in arguably the coolest art space in Montreal? That’s what I remember from last night when I shuffled myself off to DemoCampMontreal1 at the SAT (Society for Arts and Technology).

For those who don’t know, a DemoCamp is a demonstration oriented offshoot of the BarCamp phenomenon: a loosely organized “unconference” open to all and created by its participants. In true Montreal fashion this DemoCamp was a bilingual mishmash of organized chaos (though largely in English). There were 5 presenters and 4 of them focused on web based applications.

(Photo from Ezra Soiferman's blog)

Welcome to Today's News - Ash Wednesday Special Edition. Today's theme? Ash. And bad segues.

In honour of Ash Wednesday, Environment Canada has issued a smog warning for the Montreal region. Possible causes of smog at this time of year? Wood stoves. And political hot air.

Plenty of that these days. As you read this, there is a good chance that Premier Jean Charest has already ashked the Lieutenant Governor to dissolve the National Ashembly and has called a provincial election. The Charest government presented a showy budget yesterday, but the real budget of consequence in this election will be that of the Feds'. Budgets, plus the personality-bashing between provincial party leaders, will likely define this election campaign. We ashk our readers: what issue do you think will define the coming provincial election? Or do you even give a rat's ash?

photo from the midnightpoutine flickr pool by apoemabouteverything

Today’s news bits are full of helpful hints to help you live a safer, healthier, more cultured and politically successful life. Ok, so maybe they don’t all coincide, but that shouldn’t stop you from taking some good advice home with you today. Let’s do this in list form:

1. Wait a week or two before eating any Dole cantaloupes. This will be tough, seeing as how this melon is usually so juicy and delicious. Try substituting pineapple in the meantime.

2. If you’re planning on buying a car, avoid weekends or you may get hit in the head with a chunk of ice. Don’t believe me, ask this guy.

MP alumnus Mog Hewings writes:

It was a strange, sad life for Ryan Larkin, celebrated animator and later panhandler of the Main. He died peacefully in his sleep after a lengthy battle with cancer at the age of 63 on Valentines Day.

In the 1970s, Larkin became a star in the world of animation. If you ever studied anything to do with art, you’ve seen his genius films. He worked for the NFB in its hayday and made some of the most acclaimed Canadian animated shorts, including Walking (for which he received an Oscar nomination), Street Musique, Syrinx and Cityscape.

I came across this snow fort on L'Esplanade on my way to work this morning. A piece of architectural genius. I'm pretty sure it will withstand the strongest of snowball/small arms/zombie attack this part of town is likely to see. Good on ye kids. Keep up the good work.