Wednesday, September 18, 2019Light Snow -5°C
City, Music

Nobody Else Is Allowed To DJ

Posted by John / November 10, 2005

Seriously, though, this is getting ridiculous. If St. John's, NFLD has the most bars per capita, surely Montreal has the most people who DJ Rock/Punk/Indie/Soul/R&B per capita. From today on, I declare a moratorium on new DJ nights, similar to the Plateau's moratorium on converting rental units into condos. I'm happy for you, friends, for finding a venue to display your impressive musical knowledge, and I'm happy there's a consistent place to find you one or two nights a week.

But now there's actually overlap on several nights, where I'm expected to choose between friends, or else leave one friend's night in the middle of it and try to explain to them that no, actually, it's not that their night sucks or that the other night is more fun after a certain time, it's just that there are too many choices. Plus, DJ nights are always at bars, and even the best laid no-drinking plans are quickly dashed upon the rocks of everyone else drinking pints. And there's really nothing else to do but drink pints, anyway, so a stay of any polite duration necessarily involves getting tipsy, at the very least. My liver can't take this.

So, as of now, I'm not going to any DJ nights, ever again. You can come over to my place and play your records. I'll make you soup. I'll pretend to be a cast of impressionable music fans wowed by your eclectic tastes in order to inflate your fragile DJ ego. I'll pump in the scent of stale beer, cigarettes, and indie-rock jerks. I'll come up to you and ask you "Oh my God, who is this?" when you play the next big thing.

Deal? Deal.

Add a Comment

Other Cities: Toronto