You have to kind of feel sorry for metal bands. As if it isn't hard enough for the average musician to come up with the right band name, these dudes have to conjure one that adheres to an elaborate, unwritten code. I can tell you what won't cut it: Death Cab for Cutie. Neutral Milk Hotel. Clap Your Hands and Say Yeah. Somehow, even band names with "wolf" in the title don't sound as metal as they should.

Worse yet, Judas Priest is already taken.

So, forgive last Sunday's lineup at Metropolis if the marquee looked a little silly: Cradle of Filth, 69 Eyes and Three Inches of Blood. But to be honest, the marquee (marquis?) was probably the least silly thing I saw all night.

For those of you unfamiliar with COF, they are to black metal what Blink 182 is to punk rock. Except that they've had more lineup changes than Mickey Rourke has had facelifts. It was funny for about 10 minutes.

I hadn't heard of 69 Eyes before, but apparently they've been around since the early 90s. This earnest Finnish band charmed the hell out of me, despite sounding like a cross between Sisters of Mercy and Billy Idol. They wore matching leather vests, for Christ's sake. What's not to love? Apparently not everyone in the audience agreed, and projectiles were actually hurled at the stage. The most well received was a seafoam brassiere.

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