People's priorities get out of whack when they think about metal. It is not about CANNIBAL LUST. It is not about CUM-HUNGRY DEMON SPAWN. It is not even about hair. It is about SHREDDING. Awesome shredding. Ok, and a little bit about the hair.

Last night Dragonforce played the Metropolis with Killswitch Engage, Chimaira and He is Legend. They weren't even the headliner, but they were the only ones who counted for they and they alone have the power of the circle shred. You don't even know what that is, do you? BUT YOU WANT TO. And they have stage leaping. And SUCH GOOD HAIR. And kids, last night (I have to tell you this), I checked one of my lifegoals off my list.

I. Crowdsurfed. Dragonforce!!!

IS THIS AWESOME? (Y/N?)

By comparison, the other bands were just shells. Shells of DOOM, maybe, but shells. I actually got slightly offended by the Chimaira singer, whose mode of riling up the crowd was to say "f*ck" at random intervals and tell everyone to "bang your heads and bang your f*ckin whore girlfriend and tear the place apart." It's not that it's beyond my tender ears to hear that kind of crap, but compared to Dragonforce, who whipped up the crowd on the sheer power of their rocking, they seemed like high school boys on PCP. Who cares about the size of your dicks, guys? Just stuff your leather pants and kick some metal ass.

Nevertheless, it was a great crowd for a great show, and metal crowds are half the fun. If you've never been to a metal show, you MUST at least once, if only to see the glee-crazed kids in black t-shirts air shredding in the back row. And to see me, of course... CROWDSURFING.

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