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WorldCup 2010: You're in the right place

Posted by Luc / December 4, 2009

20091204-WorldCup.jpgAs I write this, the 2010 World Cup of Soccer draw is taking place in Cape Town, South Africa. I'd tell you it's pretty epic, but really it's pretty boring. They found a way to stretch picking 32 teams out of a hat into a 3 hour long process involving Charlize Theron. I vaguely recall seeing some magic acts at the last World Cup draw in Germany in 2006. (UPDATE: i was wrong. It lasted 20 minutes)

But don't let these milked theatrics get you down. You are going to love the World Cup. I know it's December and the tournament won't start until June, but you'll get into it. Why? Because you're in the best possible city to watch it in.

Maybe you were here last time. Or maybe you weren't. Either way, this is the biggest international sporting event (ya sorry Olympics, it's hard to relate to sports like Archery and Synchronized Diving), and here are some tips on how to prepare for it:

1. EarMuffs
Everytime an underdog or middle of the pack team wins a match, there will be some kind of crazy parade. And by parade, I mean a bunch of cars with people hanging out of the windows honking at you and yelling their country's name and blocking intersections. I once ran up to a restaurant and banged on the windows after a victory. South Africa is 7 hours ahead of us, hence you will be woken up most mornings by said honking.

2. Bandwagon
Go look at the list of teams and pick an obscure country and start telling people early on that you are cheering for them. I recommend some of the African teams and lesser known South American teams. Like Cote D'Ivoire! Cameroon! Uruguay!

3. Buy a Flag of said Bandwagon team

This will make you seem super hardcore. About 3 months prior to the Cup, you'll see the flag vendors all over the place...especially strip malls and street corners downtown. Buy a mini one for your car, or a big one for your front porch. Or above your bed. Or your grandma's house. Or all of those.

4. Be Early
If you don't pick an underdog and you go with one of the favorites (Italy, England, not France, etc) and you're going to a bar that supports that team, get there early. When I say early I mean like 18 hours before the match. Or else you will have to watch it from up on a lamp post across the street.

5. Learn how to brawl with opposing fans
Am I being sarcastic? See you on the streets.


**UPDATE**
England clearly came out on top in the draw with a weak group, but I'm sure Peter Crouch (not David...) will find a way to ruin it for them. Oh, and Cote D'Ivoire is in a group with Brazil and Portugal so...maybe pick another dark horse.

Discussion

10 Comments

Sam / December 4, 2009 at 02:31 pm
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David Crouch? I assume you mean Peter Crouch. And yes, he will ruin it for England...
Luc / December 4, 2009 at 02:39 pm
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Ya Charlize was awkwardly flirting with Beckham when I was typing that sentence so I had the words "David" and "Tool" in mind.

Nice catch, dear reader
j / December 28, 2009 at 07:38 am
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I'm getting the feeling that this is written by some bandwagon jumper.
Having watched all of Englands qualifying matches I'm not entirely sure I understand your point about Peter Crouch. Do you watch the Premier League. Did you see Crouchie in the qualifiers? If you did you would notice his form of late. If Becks is selected then he will most likely be used as a late sub.
I'm not sure about the brawls comments. In the last 3 tournaments and Euro I watched England at various bars and pubs in the city. Unfortunately I have yet to see a brawl. If anything goes down it's usually when the Portos get knocked out and they are sad losers.
Read up on your footie knowledge then write something worthwhile reading.
PS- England are not a favourite to win the tournament and their group is not as easy as it looks. Slovenia rocked the qualifiers and the USA traditionally make it to the 1/4's.
Rule Britannia.
niceman / January 13, 2010 at 07:56 am
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